Naming the Baby
What is the deal with all those people in this world who say they support you, but really don't? I am not talking to all you bloggy friends. You don't have to call and leave offensive messages on my machine, although that would make my days more interesting.
I am talking about these people that say things to my friend we will call Surprised Mama. Today I finally got in touch with Surprised Mama. We have been emailing and leaving messages for each other for a few weeks. I called to invite her to lunch. We are both on vacation from the Little Monkeys and loving it.
Prego, that is what she told me after about 20 words into our conversation. Prego and SURPRISED! She found out several months ago and is about 5 months along. I read between the lines and quickly said...is this a good thing? Do you want me to say congratulations? Surprised Mama was well, really surprised, stressed, frustrated, and also amazed. Prego? How could that be? She had been told it would be very difficult for her to conceive when she finally decides to do so (which she was thinking would be a few years down the road).
So now what?
She's in a great relationship with a great guy, but not married. Now this doesn't matter to her and it shouldn't matter to anyone else, but there is this stigma. What the fuck is that all about? Do you really have to be married to have a baby together? Why does it matter to others? They seem happy. They don't seem to need a marriage license to prove that they will care for their baby together.
She told me she was surprised as hell and quickly thought about an abortion. In fact, she was sure she wanted one,but that conversation she had with her doctor about problems conceiving kept creeping up. She changed her mind.
I feel her stress, her frustration. Those wonder questions begin to pop up for me too. I find myself asking, no fantasizing, about what if? What if I changed my mind? How would my life be different? Then I really think about it and can't imagine it. All I can think about is throwing up, spit up, and depression!
This is when I realize each of us has a very different decision to make. It is about what I want, not what others want for me or others think is best.
So let's move on to naming the baby. Surprised Mama is a rebel like me and has always said that she will keep her maiden name (like me) when she marries. So she decided that she would give her baby boy her name and her boyfriend's name. I can't help but be jealous they both have nice, normal names. I would love to give my baby (if I ever have one) my name and Hubby's name, but we have names that are wacky! I can only imagine our child would be tormented about hickeys and penises!
So now what?
Well, I wonder about giving one child my name and giving the next one Hubby's name. Then it is fair. We both get to pass our names on, but that also seems way too complicated--although I have seen it done. Hmmm...what if I had a third? Yes, too complicated. (Oh ouch, can you imagine birthing 3 babies, or even 1 for that matter.)
I am talking about these people that say things to my friend we will call Surprised Mama. Today I finally got in touch with Surprised Mama. We have been emailing and leaving messages for each other for a few weeks. I called to invite her to lunch. We are both on vacation from the Little Monkeys and loving it.
Prego, that is what she told me after about 20 words into our conversation. Prego and SURPRISED! She found out several months ago and is about 5 months along. I read between the lines and quickly said...is this a good thing? Do you want me to say congratulations? Surprised Mama was well, really surprised, stressed, frustrated, and also amazed. Prego? How could that be? She had been told it would be very difficult for her to conceive when she finally decides to do so (which she was thinking would be a few years down the road).
So now what?
She's in a great relationship with a great guy, but not married. Now this doesn't matter to her and it shouldn't matter to anyone else, but there is this stigma. What the fuck is that all about? Do you really have to be married to have a baby together? Why does it matter to others? They seem happy. They don't seem to need a marriage license to prove that they will care for their baby together.
She told me she was surprised as hell and quickly thought about an abortion. In fact, she was sure she wanted one,but that conversation she had with her doctor about problems conceiving kept creeping up. She changed her mind.
I feel her stress, her frustration. Those wonder questions begin to pop up for me too. I find myself asking, no fantasizing, about what if? What if I changed my mind? How would my life be different? Then I really think about it and can't imagine it. All I can think about is throwing up, spit up, and depression!
This is when I realize each of us has a very different decision to make. It is about what I want, not what others want for me or others think is best.
So let's move on to naming the baby. Surprised Mama is a rebel like me and has always said that she will keep her maiden name (like me) when she marries. So she decided that she would give her baby boy her name and her boyfriend's name. I can't help but be jealous they both have nice, normal names. I would love to give my baby (if I ever have one) my name and Hubby's name, but we have names that are wacky! I can only imagine our child would be tormented about hickeys and penises!
So now what?
Well, I wonder about giving one child my name and giving the next one Hubby's name. Then it is fair. We both get to pass our names on, but that also seems way too complicated--although I have seen it done. Hmmm...what if I had a third? Yes, too complicated. (Oh ouch, can you imagine birthing 3 babies, or even 1 for that matter.)
posted by Vegas Showgirl at 8:22 PM
4 Comments:
Actually, yes I can imagine birthing 3 babies:)
As for naming, I went traditional and took dh name, although I really wished he would have taken mine (and now he says he would have).
I hope surprised mama is doing well.
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I think you should just think about making fun before everyone else does. Call your kid Weiner and be done with it. :)
I just found out a kid my parents went to high school with was called Craig Craig.
Your choice,
Be thought of as the funny parents of Weiner.
Or be thought of as the mean parents of Craig
I got my mother's maiden as my last and my father's as my middle.
Couldn't be happier. Both are tough to pronounce at first glance, but I'm a helluva lot happier that I'm named after my crazy mom's family versus my psycho dad.
but that's just my story.
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