Fascinating Womanhood...I think not!
Bitch, get my coffee, clean my house, birth my babies, make my dinner, and don't forget to take my coat when I come home, put away my shoes, and cut and file my nails! This would be my hubby's expectation, oops I mean Demetrius' expectation of his wife. Do you watch bad TV very often? Last night, my hubby slyly reminded me to do MY job (no, it isn't what you're thinking--dirty minds). It went something like this...Honey, you've been a very bad girl, go to our room...after you do the dishes and don't forget I made your fucking dinner! Ahhh, I love that guy. :)
To ensure that I was highly distracted while performing my duties (LOL), I turned on bad TV. WOW! I tuned in to watch my very first episode of Wife Swap on ABC. Maryland mom, Dawn and her husband Demetrius believe in "Fascinating Womanhood" as a way of life--whatever the hell that means! They believe a woman's place is in the home serving her husband's every need--she doesn't even leave the house when her husband is gone...can you imagine such a horrible life?
After "deep" thought about this new show, I realized I needed to ask myself one, simple question. What the hell would Betty do? During the commercial breaks, I reviewed my favorite how to guide "How to succeed at the expense of others in this world and the next" written by Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's BEST Christian. She reminded me what is important in my marriage and my life.
I can't believe I actually forgot about the organization, B.I.T.C.H. (Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers). I think I should send Dawn her very own submission muzzle. This will ensure that Demetrius never feels threatened by her again!
To ensure that I was highly distracted while performing my duties (LOL), I turned on bad TV. WOW! I tuned in to watch my very first episode of Wife Swap on ABC. Maryland mom, Dawn and her husband Demetrius believe in "Fascinating Womanhood" as a way of life--whatever the hell that means! They believe a woman's place is in the home serving her husband's every need--she doesn't even leave the house when her husband is gone...can you imagine such a horrible life?
After "deep" thought about this new show, I realized I needed to ask myself one, simple question. What the hell would Betty do? During the commercial breaks, I reviewed my favorite how to guide "How to succeed at the expense of others in this world and the next" written by Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's BEST Christian. She reminded me what is important in my marriage and my life.
I can't believe I actually forgot about the organization, B.I.T.C.H. (Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers). I think I should send Dawn her very own submission muzzle. This will ensure that Demetrius never feels threatened by her again!
posted by Vegas Showgirl at 6:51 PM
7 Comments:
Hey, I tripped onto your blog - isn't Wife Swap/Trade/Meet Your New Mommy disgusting but startlingly delicious at the same time?
I remember this life...in the 1950s. That show sounds like an awful reminder of it!
Jebus-Christo all mighty! Dear, shouldn't you be pregnant already? No seriously.
Enough anti-baby for you, get thee to a Breeder-post. If his doesn't work, use a turkey baster already!
I do have to congratulate you for looking up the divine word of Miss Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian - but I remind you if you don't prostrate to your husband's needs and every (shallow but divinely inspired) whim, you'll be quickly demoted from your lauded position in the B.I.T.C.H hierarchy to some corner street on your knees as a Christian Crack-Whore. At least you'll continue to be able to pray, since you'll be on your knees anyway.
Much love to you dearie, and I do ever so hope that if you have to leave the house, Gosh forbid, you do it with your B.A.S.H. (baptists are saving homosexuals) chapperone. You'll have all the male roving eyes and hands sucked up by your weak-minded minion, er chapperone, and his dirty, dark, unsaveable spirit is sooooo much more disposable than your own. You are still one of the saveable heterosexuals, unlike our B.A.S.H counterparts. (Just don't tell them that, who will do our hair then?)
Dytzbug I am going to wash your mouth out with soap...you made me laugh so hard I think I peed on my nice pants!
Nicole,
I totally get what you are saying! I have 2 other shows I have to watch, so I can't suck myself into this one! Hopefully, I won't miss too much.:)
are you fucking kidding me? my dog would not even think about serving her masters in ANY WAYS. she is a smart one so she knows what and when she should be serving the masters, you know.
there is no way i would be "serving" my hubby. if he wants to do something, like eating, he can cook. pull something out of pantry and make something for himself. i don't need to "serve" him :)!! if you want something to eat, go get and make it!!! that's the way it is in a wildlife. animals can go hunt what they want!
BTW, I never said no such thing... at least the way she wrote it. Our deal is this: I cook, she cleans. She forgot the clean part and I reminded her of it. Sounds fair to me.
The goal here is to prevent large, overwhelming cleaning projects that take a whole day.
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